for useinsouciant

[singlemantear]

 continued from here.

Dean doesn't get much sleep. He stays in bed, makes sure Cas gets the sleep he needs, but Dean's too keyed up about what he's going to do the next day to get much more than short, fitful bouts of unconsciousness. His dreams are filled with images of anxiety and pain - the face of his brother, a hoard of Croats chasing him, the scorch mark of angel wings across pavement.

As the sun starts to rise, Dean slides out of bed, careful to not wake up Cas, and goes to prepare for what he's gotta do that day. He covers the dining room floor with sheets that will hopefully soak up the blood, he sterilizes the saw and surgical instruments with alcohol he'd gotten at the hospital and gets all the bandages ready. He feels sick but he's got his game face on - determined to do what Cas has asked of him. He isn't thinking beyond the present moment and the one after that and the one after that. He won't think of the future again until after this is over. Cas needs all his attention.

Comments

[singlemantear]

If he allows Cas to crawl into his lap, Dean has to come to terms with the fact that this is beyond curiosity. He has to admit to himself that he's attracted to his best friend. Maybe has been for a little while now. He looks at Cas, feels the tingle in his lips from their kissing and the first strands of arousal sliding down his spine, and makes his decision.

He moves his hands to curl around Cas's waist and carefully encourage him into Dean's lap as he sits back against the cushions.

[useinsouciant]

His movements are a little stiff due to the stitches in his back, but he manages to swing a leg over Dean's lap and settle in.

And it's good. Good in a different way than curling up next to Dean in bed. That's comforting, this -- this is heady. He exhales shakily against Dean's mouth, looking down at him. Stroking his cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I like this."

[singlemantear]

Dean lets out a breath as Cas settles onto his lap. He wouldn't say he's relaxed but he doesn't back out either. His hands settle on the other man's hips.

"Yeah, it's uh, a better angle," he says, getting used to Cas's weight, to the intimacy that usually has Dean turning tail.

[useinsouciant]

"Less twisting." He feels dizzy. Though less from the alcohol and more from the feeling of Dean's lips against his. The taste of him.

He slides his fingers into Dean's hair and brushes their lips together again. Nothing long or lingering, just testing out the new angle.

[singlemantear]

"Mm," he agrees as their lips slide together. It's still just a lot of testing for him, but he has to admit that it feels good - Cas's lips, his fingers carding through his hair. It's no different than a woman, he decides. Aside from the brush of stubble which is different but kinda nice too.

[useinsouciant]

He brushes his lips against Dean's jaw and something occurs to him, making him frown softly. "You have to tell me if you don't like it, right? If it doesn't feel good for you."

He doesn't want Dean to go along with it just because Cas likes it, and he doesn't want to do anything that Dean doesn't enjoy, too.