The first cut is the worst because he wasn't expecting it, wasn't braced for it. He clenches his fists against his thighs and bites down hard on the cloth, trying not to be too loud but unable to entirely help the sounds that are torn from his throat with every movement of the sawblade against his wings. The last of his Grace being cut from him, quite literally. He doesn't regret refusing the anesthetic; he needed to feel this.
At some point, things start to go black around the edges of his vision and for a moment he's terrified he's going blind. Or dying. But he realizes what this is just before it fully takes over him -- he's passing out. From pain, from blood loss, from everything all together. He slumps forward where he sits and he'll probably be grateful for his body shutting down, later.
When he comes to, his body still aches, but not in the way it did before. His fever is gone, and the pain is centralized at the two neatly stitched wounds on his back. Dean had been so careful with him, and Castiel counts himself as lucky to have such a loyal friend.
He tries to say Dean's name, but it comes out rough, barely a whisper.
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Date: 2021-02-23 04:06 am (UTC)At some point, things start to go black around the edges of his vision and for a moment he's terrified he's going blind. Or dying. But he realizes what this is just before it fully takes over him -- he's passing out. From pain, from blood loss, from everything all together. He slumps forward where he sits and he'll probably be grateful for his body shutting down, later.
When he comes to, his body still aches, but not in the way it did before. His fever is gone, and the pain is centralized at the two neatly stitched wounds on his back. Dean had been so careful with him, and Castiel counts himself as lucky to have such a loyal friend.
He tries to say Dean's name, but it comes out rough, barely a whisper.